If you are a generous individual, you probably have that reputation and it is well-deserved. It’s nice to be nice, and if you are able to be generous in a financial way, people often appreciate what you do.

That doesn’t mean, however, that everybody is going to appreciate your generosity. In some cases, they may even feel as if they are entitled and could take advantage of your giving nature as well.

Something similar like this happened in the following story. It’s about a woman who found herself in a very uncomfortable situation at dinner so she did the unexpected.

Some backstory. I’m pretty successful especially in comparison to my family. I also travel quite a bit for work.

When I do come into town I try and meet everyone and usually go out to a few dinners. Because of the income disparity I almost always pay for my family. Sometimes I splurge and take them out to a really nice place but usually it’s just outback or something. I do let them pay every once in awhile when it’s a quick, cheap meal so they don’t feel bad.

I have no issue with this and love helping my family ( I handle family vacation, bought mom a car etc) so I feel like I’m very generous with them.

I was coming back into town for the holidays but couldn’t stay long this time. My mom said everyone wanted to see me and planned a dinner.

After I got into town I had a text from my mom from a few hours earlier (no signal on plane) to meet at a really high end steakhouse. I was a bit uneasy about it because I always initiate more expensive meals but rolled with it.

I show up at the restaurant to find a huge party. My mom, stepdad, grandparents, cousins, neighbors etc. Usually our family dinners are 6 people roughly. I don’t have much family and very few I’m close to. This was almost 20 people.

I didn’t think much of it and ordered dinner. Then the neighbor of my grandmother, whom I’ve only ever waved to, offered a toast to me for being so generous and taking everyone out to dinner.

I looked at my mom who was beet red. Appetizers came out at this exact moment. I had assumed some version of a Dutch meal since so many people were there. I immediately said “I’m not paying for dinner”

I quickly looked around. Everyone had drinks. They ordered a ton of appetizers and everyone had steaks. This places steaks all are 80-250 per person. Quick math said this was going to be a 4k dinner easy.

I got up, threw a $100 on the table and left.

My phone was blowing up, I turned it off and went to bed and left the next day without saying bye. I didn’t handle it well bet actually felt used. I also told my mother I would stop sender her monthly allowance going forward.

I know I’m nta with the dinner but more concerned about my reaction.

Update: so my mom has been begging me to call her. I figured I’d let it go and called her back. I apologized for storming out, and assumed she would apologize too and we could move forward.

Nope. I was called selfish, greedy, disrespectful and mean. I asked how they could call me greedy and selfish after everything I’ve done for everyone. She said I didn’t do that much and could do more.

To be clear I’ve bought her 2 cars now. Helped remodel a bathroom. Replaced their roof. New appliances and paid for 5-6 family vacations. This is on top of a legion of other things.

I got so mad I went scorched earth and told her that nobody would be receiving any more help they weren’t appreciative of going forward.

I called AT&T and canceled the 6 lines I was paying for everyone. Canceled the internet I was paying for. Changed passwords on or canceled all my streaming accounts. Kicked their cars off aaa. Kicked her off my insurance (car). And canceled the credit card I’d given her.

No more free rides.

UPDATE 2: Since everyone has been asking here are the updates. Nothing major.

So after I left my niece (who was not there so 3rd hand here) said everyone was in shock. They tried to cancel dinner but the apps and drinks had already come so they split a 700 bill and left.

Mom’s been calling, I’m avoiding her calls now. Her voicemails are each meaner than the last so I just delete them now. I told her I wanted time for us all to calm down and I’ll talk to her next month.

I was uninvited from a cousins wedding I barely know. They didn’t want “drama” but let it known that they would like the present. That convo could spark off a whole other aita thread.

They were deciding where the family vacation will be this summer previously, that horse is dead now.

I visited with my niece and she told me that there is zero remorse or understanding. It is basically an accepted consensus that I’m a greedy, mean, monster.

So nothing juicy. I’ll update if anything major happens but I think this is status quo for quite awhile