A mom of four is opening up about the realities of gender disappointment.

In a video shared on TikTok, Kendra Evens showed her emotional reaction after discovering that she was expecting her fourth daughter. Evens, who is already mom to three other girls, watched as smoke from a Jack-O-Lantern turned pink, prompting her to start crying.
“We get a girl?” one of her daughters yells as Evens hunches over in tears. “What? Why do we have to get a girl?”

Someone off-camera shouts, “Girl gang all day,” to which Evens continues to cry while her husband rubs her back.

“When I got pregnant with my fourth baby, I knew it was my last and after already having three amazing daughters, it was only natural that I, of course, wanted a boy,” she tells PEOPLE. “On top of that, all three of my pregnancies with my daughters were all the exact same, but with this last pregnancy everything was so different so in my head I swore it was a boy.”

@dailydoseofmygirlgang Gender disappointment is real so dont judge us, little did we know our nellie would complete our family & we couldnt be happier to be raising our 4 daughters! Couldnt imagine life without that sweet girl #girlgang #fourdaughters #girlmom #sahm #pumkinhead #thisishalloween #fall #genderreveal #daughters ♬ Oh Klahoma – Jack Stauber

“Going into the gender reveal, I was hesitant on doing anything because I didn’t want to be disappointed in front of people if it wasn’t a boy, but then I was reminded it was my last pregnancy and I didn’t want to have any regrets,” the mom of four continues.

Evans says her emotions got the best of her once she saw the hint of pink coming from the Jack-O-Lantern. “All of my emotions immediately hit me, I couldn’t help but cry. There was no control of my emotions at that point, especially being pregnant.”

“And all of these thoughts came flooding, thoughts that I’ll never have a son, never be able to experience what it’s like to have a mother-son bond, to have a ‘mama’s boy,’ or anything like that.”

She also says that her oldest daughter, the one yelling in the video, always wanted to have a brother, which is why she was so upset. “My oldest daughter in the video clearly didn’t mask her initial disappointment, ever since her first sibling she always wanted a brother.”

“Gender disappointment is real, both for mom and/or dad,” Evens tells PEOPLE. “Our feelings are valid as humans and gender disappointment should be more normalized. You don’t know anyone’s situation or feelings, and just because somebody is initially disappointed doesn’t mean baby is not loved.”

Now, Evens is the proud mom of four girls, including her youngest daughter Nellie, and runs a coffee truck with her own sister.

“Having daughters has been amazing and has changed me already so much in my life. My girls are so lucky to have each other and know what it’s like to have a sister bond — not everyone gets to experience that.”

With her own sister, Evens says she’s “so excited to teach our kids to never give up on their dreams and to be there for each other as sisters would.”