Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says,

“Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me.”

His wife was hurt but said,

“Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you.”
They embraced and kissed, and everything was fine until they got to the seventeenth tee.

As the husband was starting his back swing, his wife blurted out, I’m sorry darling, I’ve been so conscience-stricken since you told me your news.

Since we’re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also:
“32 years ago I had a sex change operation. I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.”
The husband froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit.

He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke his clubs one by one, then started on hers.

He screamed and ranted,
“You liar! You cheat! You despicable deceiver! How could you?

I trusted you with all my heart and soul… and all these years you’ve been playing off the ladies tees.”
–A Fortune Teller Had Some Bad News–
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
“There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, the wife stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself – and to stop her mind racing.
She simply had to know.

She met the Fortune Teller’s gaze, steadied her voice and asked:
“Will I be acquitted?”