Am I Wrong for Kicking My MIL Out of My Home after She Came over to Do Me a Favor?

A woman shared a conflict she had with her mother-in-law (MIL) online, wondering if she was wrong for kicking her out of her home after she came to the woman’s house to do her a favor. Users advised the woman in regards to the MIL, giving reasons for their position.

A mother watching over her sleeping baby | Source: Getty Images
A mother watching over her sleeping baby | Source: Getty Images

A woman recounted a recent experience she had with her MIL, seeking advice on whether her actions were justified. She explained how her husband had asked her MIL to come over and watch their three-month-old daughter so she could take a much-needed nap.

The woman was exhausted from caring for a colicky baby who frequently vomited in her sleep. It was difficult for her to rest while the baby was also asleep, as her daughter had previously choked on her own vomit in her sleep. So, when the MIL agreed to come over for a few hours and even make dinner, the woman welcomed the opportunity for some rest.

An elderly woman taking care of a baby | Source: Getty Images
An elderly woman taking care of a baby | Source: Getty Images

During this visit, the woman’s husband, who works as a trucker, was away on a week-long trip. In a heartfelt Reddit post, the woman expressed appreciation for her MIL’s offer to cook dinner and her willingness to watch the baby.

Unfortunately, her relief quickly turned to dismay when she woke up at 4 p.m. to the sound of her daughter screaming. Rushing to her daughter’s room, she found her still in her crib with an unchanged diaper, indicating that she had been crying for some time. The woman rushed to her bedroom to retrieve her phone only to realize that it wasn’t on the charger where she had left it.

She also realized that the baby monitor had been unplugged, which was why she hadn’t heard her baby cry at first. Concerned, she searched for her MIL but couldn’t find her inside the house. The woman went back into the kitchen and it was then that she noticed her MIL through the window, talking on the phone outside.

A sleep-deprived mother with a crying baby | Source: Getty Images
A sleep-deprived mother with a crying baby | Source: Getty Images

Shocked and angered by her MIL’s neglect of her daughter, she demanded an explanation. She went outside and found her MIL talking on her phone. Interrupting her, she demanded to know why she had her cell phone and how long she had left the baby crying in the other room.

The MIL explained, “Well, I heard your phone ringing, and it was my son so I answered it and took it outside so I wouldn’t wake you and I unplugged the monitor so the baby wouldn’t wake you if she did start crying. She wasn’t crying when I walked outside.”

A younger and older woman arguing | Source: Getty Images
A younger and older woman arguing | Source: Getty Images

When asked how long she had been talking on the phone, the MIL replied “37 minutes.” Upon learning that her MIL had been on her phone for over 30 minutes, the woman promptly told her to leave. Despite her MIL’s protests and explanations, the woman insisted that she leave, pointing out that her daughter had been crying for at least 10 minutes, if not longer.

Still, the MIL protested, noting that crying wouldn’t hurt the baby and that she didn’t hear her crying, otherwise she would have gone to tend to her granddaughter immediately. The woman, tired of her MIL’s excuses, responded, “Yeah but instead you decided to steal my phone and go talk to my husband for 40 minutes and fail to do the task you came here for. Leave.” Eventually, her MIL departed.

A younger and older woman arguing | Source: Getty Images
A younger and older woman arguing | Source: Getty Images

Things took a different turn when the woman’s husband returned. She was devastated when her husband sided with the MIL, arguing that his mother did them a favor by coming to help with the baby. He claimed that his wife made his mother feel stupid for not picking up the baby as soon as she started crying. “Don’t be surprised if she never helps again,” the husband said.

Despite her husband’s subsequent disapproval of her actions, the woman remained firm in her decision, feeling betrayed by her MIL’s negligence. She sought advice from the Reddit community, wondering whether her actions were right or wrong. Redditors said the MIL and her husband were in the wrong.

A distressed woman and her husband | Source: Getty Images
A distressed woman and her husband | Source: Getty Images

“This is not what helping you looks like and is so dangerous. Total neglect of your child,” a user noted. Another Redditor concurred“During that time, your child could have spit up, choked on it, and it could have gotten dangerous.” Online users also said that the husband should have supported the woman, “Babies have died choking on vomit and the fact your husband and his mother are so cavalier about it is disgusting. [That’s] the entire reason she was there, to be eyes on her.”

The woman agreed with several Redditors who supported her. She emphasized that the issue wasn’t solely about the baby crying for 10 minutes but rather the fact that her MIL spent 40 minutes outside on her cell phone instead of watching the baby, despite being at her house for an hour and a half.

A mother watching her baby sleep | Source: Getty Images
A mother watching her baby sleep | Source: Getty Images

Throughout this period, the MIL failed to check on her daughter and disconnected the monitor, a behavior deemed inexcusable. The woman remained resolute, emphasizing that such disregard for her daughter’s safety troubled her deeply and prompted her to ask her MIL to leave.

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