A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.

He hears a priest come in: “Father, forgive me for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”

The priest replies:

“Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side!”

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the old woman if she would like a ride:

After a bit of small talk, while resuming the journey,

The old woman noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

“What’s in the bag?” Asked the woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said.

“It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.”

The old woman was silent for a moment then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder said……

“Good trade.”