Thinking it had been a long time since he had paid her a compliment, she decides to see if she can get one out of him.

“Honey,” she says, “I feel horrible.”

Silence…

“I look old, fat, and ugly.”

More Silence…

Leaving all semblance of subtlety behind her, she bluntly tells him what she wants.

“I could really use a compliment right now!”

Finally taking his cue, the husband replies,

“Your eyesight is damn near perfect.”

A blonde was taking helicopter lessons.

The instructor said, “I’ll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you’re doing.”

At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.

At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.

Just before the helicopter reached 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.

The instructor ran to where she crash-landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. “What went wrong?”

The blonde said, “At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off.”